Dance with Somebody

Whitney Houston died.
I sent that text to my mom on Saturday night at 8:45pm.
I sent it to my mom because I remember listening to Whitney Houston cassette tapes with her while I was growing up. I remember how my mom thought Whitney Houston was gorgeous when we watched The Bodyguard.

When I found out about her passing, while sitting at the Charlotte Bobcats game via Facebook (another notch to the power of social media belt), the first person I thought to tell was my mother. So I texted her and over the past two days, I’ve read and listened to accounts of people’s opinions while I sat silently and digested all that had happened.

A singing icon died.
Yes, she was too young.
Yes, it is a tragedy.
Yes, it was most likely preventable.

But I saw it as a lesson in team building.
A lesson in surrounding yourself with people who will push you to be better, to not fail, to not give up, to not perish, but to rise above and be better.

I don’t know if Whitney Houston had a team that surrounded her.
I don’t know what efforts were made to save her, push her, or raise her to being her best.

What I do know is that regardless of what did or did not happen, failure occurred. Because Whitney Houston is no longer striving to be her best, she is no longer dancing with somebody.

Who are you dancing with? Who is pushing you? Who doesn’t give up on you even when you have given up on yourself? Do you have that somebody?

Are you that somebody?

How do you become that somebody?

Here's what you have to do to be a dance partner in someone’s life:
1. Praise. Positive words and reinforcement can catapult a person to their next level of success. Whether you are a co-worker, boss, teacher, coach, parent or friend, communicating kind words of praise will help boost self-confidence, allowing them to try harder. One of the biggest mistakes we make is only communicating when failure or large accomplishments occurs. It’s much harder to consciously praise people in our lives for their small positive actions that are helping them progress to a higher level of excellence. We all know the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” As a dance partner, you want to remember to: Don’t forget to praise the small stuff!
2. Push. This is a major obligation you have when you sign up to be someone’s dance partner. You must be willing to push them to do more and to do better. Sometimes people need to be pushed because they fail to push themselves, or they don’t have enough self-belief to go for it on their own. Pushing requires a delicate balance of knowing when to push and when to back off, however, most of us back off too soon. I’ve heard that if you send just one more marketing email, you’ll get an additional 15% response. Keep that in mind here, if you push and cheerlead someone just one more time, you may get a 15% increase in their success.
3. Protect. Probably the most important of the three elements, above all else, is to protect this person. On whatever level you are engaged with this person, you are required to protect them. This is easiest for parents and spouses, but think about it in business terms. To be a team player, you have to protect each other. To be a trusted boss, you have to protect your employees. To be a respected employee, you have to protect the business. Protection is to keep safe from harm. You have to bodyguard your dance partner and keep them from harm, whether it’s from outside influences or from themselves.

Whitney Houston died. I believe she died because she didn’t have a dance partner. I hope that you will dance with somebody – all the way to the best of their success.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Barktitude

A few months ago, I stepped into a big, brown, round, smelly piece of fluffy goodness. His name is Dunkin, yes like Dunkin Donuts (ssshhh...don't tell Starbucks!). Dunkin is just how his name sounds, a goofy, dunce-like, happy-go-lucky, slightly lazy, chocolate labradoodle. He's also the best teacher I've ever had.

Ever see the bumper sticker, Wag More, Bark Less? That's Dunkin. He's a wag more; bark less kind of a dog, as most dogs are. And he's a prime example of how we should all be walking through life.

Here are the Top 10 lessons Dunkin has taught me:

1. Unconditional love - Pets are amazing at how freely they give you love. They love you in the morning, afternoon, and night. They love you regardless of your flaws, your imperfections, the way you dress, or the way you talk. They are beautiful creatures that love you and never hesitate to show it. How unconditional is your love?

2. Pure happiness - Dunkin is a happy dog. He is always smiling, yes he smiles. He displays a spirit of pure happiness no matter who, or what, is around him. His happiness is contagious. Is your happiness contagious?

3. To prance - Dunkin doesn't just walk; he prances. When he retrieves, he hops, you know, like a bunny does. He lives in this world with full excitement and isn't afraid to show it. Do you prance?

4. Play hard - When its play time, Dunkin goes all out. There isn't one ounce of him that isn't 100% committed to the task at hand, whether it's retrieving his favorite stuffed monkey or chasing after the neighbors cat, Kramer. He puts it all out there and he has fun while he's doing it. How much effort are you leaving on the table?

5. Eat only when hungry - Go ahead and chuckle, but it's true. In a country of over-indulgence, it's easy to consume more than we need. Hey, where did those extra 10lbs come from? With Dunkin, I can put a bowl of food in front of him and if he's hungry, he eats, if he's not, he leaves it there. He has self-control, something many of us struggle with, not just with food but also in life. How over-indulgent are you?

6. No prejudice - Dunkin loves everyone equally. Maybe it's because dogs are colorblind, but he jumps, licks and mulls over everyone equally with his excitement to see them. He doesn't care about size, gender, race, or hair-cut and he greets everyone as a friend. Judgmental or friendly, where do you stand?

7. Never give up - When Dunkin wants something, he doesn't stop until he gets it. Maybe it's his toy that's stuck under the couch, or his constant placing of a toy in my hand so I'll throw it for him, regardless of what he wants, he's not stopping until he gets his way. How many times do you give up?

8. Wag more - There's no lack of wagging with this dog. The epitome of a positive attitude, we can all stand to learn the lesson from Dunkin. He chooses to wag more often than not. He chooses to see the good in everything and rarely takes notice of the negative, if ever. How's your tail wagging these days?

9. Bark less - It's a rare occasion to hear Dunkin bark. Usually when he is warning us of what he assumes is danger - the UPS woman coming to the door is his favorite. Dunkin's instinct of something dangerous is a good reason to bark - but that's the only time. How often are you yelling, screaming, or being negative when it's not necessary?

10. Give more than you take - Probably the most profound of the lessons I've learned is about how Dunkin gives much more than he takes. He gives more love, more energy, more cuddles, more licks, more wags, more burps (yes, he burps!), more everything and expects nothing in return. He takes nothing from me. Are you a giver or a taker?

Dunkin has been a great example and teacher of common lessons worth a good reminder every now and then. He's currently applying for a Ph.D. in Barktitude. You can follow him on his Dogbook page.

I'm your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email or by calling 704-333-1112.