Monday, July 22, 2013

I Made A Mistake

“Big mistake. Big. HUGE!” 

Do you see the pretty woman whose mouth those words spilled out from?

I’m not one to quote movies, but this is one of my favorites, from the scene laced with sweet revenge by the profiled and mistreated Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

While most people identify with Julia Roberts (no, I’m not talking about the fantasy of being a prostitute in Hollywood who gets rescued by the oh-so-dapper and extremely wealthy Richard Gere and gets to shop with wild abandon on Rodeo Drive) but rather most identify with her as the person who was afflicted with pain by someone else’s mistake.

How many times are you the sales person in that memorable movie scene? How many times are you the one who has made the “big mistake”?

Me? Numerous! Even recently I’ve made some hard-to-swallow mistakes that take time, energy, and reflection to move past.

Mistake. Error. Faux pas. Call it what you will, but mistakes happen. Mistakes happen in life and they also happen in business. Do you know what the big mistake, the huge mistake is? Not knowing how to recover once the mistake is made.

How to recover from a mistake:

1. Acknowledge. Just like any addiction, the first step is to acknowledge that you even made a mistake. Most people blame, point fingers, make excuses, do anything they can to avoid the simple acknowledgement that they were the culprit. It will take an honest moment of self-reflection to recognize the real reason why the mistake occurred. Once you are honest with yourself (the hardest part in my opinion), you can move on to being honest with others, and especially with the people who the mistake affected.

2. Apologize. It takes guts to admit when you have done something or been in the wrong. It takes balls to confront the people who were affected by your mistake, look them in the eye, and genuinely apologize. You don’t have to be sorry, but you do need to be sincere, genuine, and apologetic. This is not the time to drum up your excuses again; this is just a straightforward admittance that you messed up. It’s not easy to profess your mistakes, oh but it is rewarding when it’s accepted. Once you apologize, listen to what they have to say, and then work together to move forward and recover.

3. Accept. You don’t get to accept your own apology, that’s for the other person to determine. But what you do have to accept is that you messed up and then it’s time to move on. Don’t dwell on the mistake, instead recover from it. Don’t beat yourself up over the mistake, instead learn from it. Most importantly, have the self-awareness to not make the same mistake again.

4. Advance. So, you admitted you made a mistake, apologized, and have personally accepted it, now it’s time to advance. Put the mistake behind you and carry on. Howard Schultz, Starbucks CEO, titled his book with one of my favorite, very underutilized words, Onward. That’s what you do. You pick up and you push onward, learning and living through the mistake experience.

I made a mistake and it did not make me a pretty woman. It was a big mistake, big, huge! So big that it allowed me to re-evaluate, self-evaluate, and mistake-evaluate. I’ve acknowledged it, apologized for it, accepted it, and now I’m moving onward. I hope the next time you make a mistake; you’ll do the same. Mistakes happen. If you face them with eyes, mind, and heart wide open, they will teach you exactly what you need to know.


I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.


Monday, July 1, 2013

Profitable Relationships


Breaking up is hard to do.

You may disagree if you are looking at the current divorce rate, so humor me and think about your answer to this question:  How long have you stayed in a relationship after you knew it wasn’t working?

Hmmmm…and why do you stay in a bad relationship?

“It’s comfortable.”

Guilty? I am. I’ve stayed and tried to make relationships work way after my gut, head, and heart all were telling me to RUN! Sticking around hoping for the other person to change, the situation to change, the feelings to change. Change happens. But the change you are looking for usually doesn’t occur in well-established, comfortable relationships.

Comfortable is just another word for lazy. People are innately lazy, very lazy.

Now don’t go getting in a tizzy with me. Not all people are lazy. Successful people definitely wouldn’t be classified as lazy. They don’t stay in relationships that aren’t creating a profit for them. Yes, a profit.

Most people have a misconception about profit. You hear “profit” and you think money. I don’t. With a background in, and passion for non-profit, I tend to think differently about the concept of profits.

Profit defined:

profit |ˈpräfit|
noun
1. a financial gain, esp. the difference between the amount earned and the amount spent in buying, operating, or producing something.
2. advantage; benefit

Take a minute and focus on the second definition: advantage or benefit. Business relationships either produce a profit, or they don’t. And that profit is both financial and beneficial.

Let me break down the true profits of great business relationships:

Pleasure. Your business relationships should be a PIA: pleasure in action (not the other kind of PIA!). You should be experiencing pleasure while doing business together, not pain. It’s a happy, joyful exchange…most of the time.

Respect. A mutual respect for how each person and each company conducts business and it’s openly shown. Respect is two-fold; something you feel and something you demonstrate.

Open Communication. When things are going great and when things go wrong you communicate. Proactive and open communication is a relationship maker or breaker. You should be able to express your thoughts, issues, fears, hopes, dreams, passions, mistakes, and victories. And they should be able to with you.

Friendship. The best business relationships evolve into friendships. You genuinely like each other, want what’s best for each other, and enjoy working together.

Investment. There is a mutual investment in helping both parties achieve success. That investment could be time, energy, resources, people, ideas, or money. But on some level you are making a contribution to their success.

Treasure. You feel appreciated, wanted, needed and accepted as the treasure you are.

If you aren’t feeling the profit in your relationship, it may be time for you to initiate a breakup. EEK! Don’t fret; I’m not going to tell you to breakup without giving you a quick three-step how-to.

How to facilitate a business breakup:

1. Explain why you feel the relationship is no longer working. No blaming. No pointing fingers. No accusations. Deliver an honest account of your feelings.

2. Listen. Allow for a rebuttal, response, and excuses (hopefully no crying or worse, screaming!). Listen to their thoughts and feelings with an understanding that they could feel exactly the same or be caught off guard.

3. Propose the next step. Provide an action plan for how to dissolve your relationship properly. No hard feelings. No burning bridges. Develop a professional exit strategy to ensure both parties are content.

Relationships take work and effort by all involved. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Heed my advice: if it isn’t working – don’t stay hoping, wishing, and willing change! You create the change. Step up to a breakup. Because in business, only one type of relationship works: a profitable one.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.


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