Monday, February 11, 2013

Yucky Love Stuff

love |ləv|
1 an intense feeling of deep affection.

The blaring love headlights of Valentine’s Day are shining straight ahead and they are looking at you kid.

You know what I’m talking about. The unavoidable sea of yucky love stuff: all things turn pink and red, with glitter hearts, valentine cards, teddy bears, chocolate, prix fixe menu’s, horse drawn carriages, bottles of bubbly, silk ties, diamonds, and dozens of long-stemmed roses. BARF!

Hold the phone.
Who am I kidding?
I love it all!

What I don’t love is a holiday that forces people to celebrate love with grandiose gestures that inevitably fall short of the expectations of the recipient.

Been there?
Done that? 
Of course!

You have either been the executioner who fell short or the disappointed recipient whose expectations weren’t met. Or you’ve been both. I have.

Lesson Learned: When you rely on someone else’s actions or reactions to make you happy the end result will inevitably be failure.

So why are you walking around with pastel, chalky conversation hearts declaring “Crazy 4U” or asking someone to “Be Mine”?

Be Mine? Um…Come again?! Be yours? Ha. Never! I won’t be yours. This Miss Independent is her own Valentine and I challenge you to be your own Valentine too, today and every day.

What’s it look like to be your own Valentine?

1. Love Yourself. Sounds easy. It’s not. What does ‘love yourself’ even look like? Answer: a combination of love and other drugs. It’s your self-love combined with your self-knowledge, self-respect, self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-joy. To love yourself begins with an awareness of who you are. Knowing your passions, what makes you happy, and what you admire about the best person in the world, you! When you have a firm grip and understanding of WHO you are then you can start to shower yourself with the yucky love stuff. And then the real Love Potion #9 occurs, because after you love yourself first, then, and only then, can your love radiate and warm the hearts of others.

2. Do it Yourself. You want something? Get it. You need something? Do it yourself. Be empowered. Take control. You’ve heard it said, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Damn good advice. If you want a Valentine, be your own Valentine. If you want love, love yourself. If you want to get to the next success level, become the best. If you want anything, just do it. Yeah, YOU! I’m talking to you. You do it yourself. Why are you waiting on someone else’s actions or reactions to validate you? Shame on you! You are in control of yourself, your actions, your reactions, your feelings, and your success. Validate yourself Valentine.

3. Be Yourself. This may be the hardest of all. I do not subscribe to the idea of being a chameleon. They may be cute but underneath their green, wait blue, wait orange, oh now it’s red skin, they are two-faced creepy crawlers who are constantly changing to fit in. Don’t you dare be a chameleon! Dare to be yourself, the honest to goodness, most genuine truest version of you, quirks and all. That’s who is most lovable. Be courageous enough to be the true you. When you do, you’ll find you are happier, more productive, and the best version of yourself.  Are you being the truest and youest of you’s?

Be Mine? NEVER! I wouldn’t dare ask you to ‘Be Mine’. I will ask you to be yours. Be your own Valentine, today and everyday. When you decide to ‘Be Yours’, you will uncover the power of the putting yourself first. Valentine, won’t you love yourself, rely on yourself, and be your true self – always?

Big Hugs. Big Love. XOXO

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  1. GREAT ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

    1. You made me take a step back and look in the mirror and Love what what I see! Thank you Stephanie for this gift.Fab piece of writing. Lol

    2. Thank You Gary! Happy Valentine's Day.

  2. Great stuff. I forwarded it to my three grown daughters and my girl friend with the subject line of: A Powerful Valentine's message.

    1. Duke - Thank You for sharing! I hope you and your ladies all have a wonderful Love Day.

  3. Love this!! Perfect. Thank you.