Push Me, Push Me Real Good

“I can’t do it! I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.”

Those words flew out of my mouth as I stood 630 feet above the sprawling concrete jungle of Auckland. What the, pardon my French, did I just get myself into?

I was standing on the tallest building in the southern hemisphere, strapped into a harness, toes on the ledge, looking out at the beautiful bay, and being told to JUMP! You can imagine my hesitation but perhaps not the meltdown that ensued, which is all too conveniently captured on video.

It was a great idea to begin with.

Why not jump from the SkyTower? It was only 192 metres in 11 seconds. I got that. Oh wait, you mean that’s really 630 feet? EEK, I’m not feeling so sure about this anymore.

Here’s the thing about great ideas, they sound sane until it’s time to execute. That’s when you uncover all of the excuses that will prevent you from growth.

So I’m standing on the edge, having a fear induced breakdown and ready to walk away when the jump therapist (not sure of his official title), asks if I’d rather jump backwards. Hmmm, now there’s an idea.

So I pull myself together, psych up my psyche and position myself to not face the impending doom.

“1-2-3-JUMP!” And I did. And I screamed. And I ooed. And I aahed. And eleven seconds later I softly fell onto the land pad target.

AUCK-MAZE-LAND-ING!

As I collected my thoughts from the landing pad, I scolded myself for being hesitant, for having doubt, fear, and anxiety. So when the young guy who helped to unhook me asked if I wanted to go again (free of charge this time) of course I jumped at the chance.

Interesting Note: Sky Tower used their employees or patrons as advertising. If people weren’t jumping, there was no attention being drawn to their business. Seeing people use their product (jumping off the tower) was the best was to develop interest and draw new people to their doors. Take Note: How are you showcasing your product or business? How are you gaining new prospects attention through demonstration?

So here I went again. Up the 54 floors in the elevator, out to the ledge, all ready to jump facing forward this time.

“1-2-3-JUMP!” I didn’t.

“OK Stephanie, Let’s try this again. 1-2-3-JUMP!” I couldn’t.

“One more time, you have to let go. OK? 1-2-3-JUMP” I wouldn’t.

“Can I go backwards?” I asked sheepishly as the self-disappointment washed over me.

“Sure.”

I turned around, got set, “1-2-3-JUMP!” I went flying.

The thrill and wonder of the experience subsided as I landed and again I was frustrated with my inability to jump face forward. Why was going backwards so much easier?

That’s when the AHA of the whole experience hit me. When I was facing backwards, I didn’t have to let go and jump. Instead, I was more or less pushed off by the jump assistant. I didn’t jump. I wouldn’t jump. I couldn’t let go (control-freak). But I was fine with being pushed, being shoved into a free-fall where once I was in it, I was able to master it.

All I needed was someone to push me. Twice.

Who is pushing you?

Who is throwing you off the ledge?

Who is catapulting you into the future you are meant to have?

Who is pushing you even when you are facing something you’ve already conquered?

Fear is idea-crippling, experience-crushing, and success-stalling. Fear is the biggest self-inflicted inhibitor you will face. Fear is to be pushed, pushed real good, pushed all the way out until you free fall into your dreams.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Check out more pictures of me at the Sky Tower!

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Reading Ugly

Bless his heart.

My sentiments as I watched this poor father, herd his two little blond girls into the priority security line at the airport, alone. Standing behind them, the shorter and younger of the two girls turned around, looked up and smiled at me. Melted my heart. I smiled and asked her, “Do you know where you're flying to?” 

“Texas!”

“No way. Me too! Do you know what city?”

I had stumped her. She looked at her Dad for help. I followed her lead and glanced up to see a father who was smiling apologetically for his daughter’s newfound interest in me.

“Dallas.” He answered for her.

“No way. Me too!” I responded, shifting my gaze back to her.

By this point, it was ID and boarding pass check time. Then quickly over to a moving belt, grab a bin or two or three, unload your liquids, remove your laptop, remove your shoes, step into the peeping tom machine, step out the other side, better grab your things before they get crushed, and be on your oh so TSA merry way.

I grabbed my obligatory Starbucks on my way to the gate, and boarded into seat 3A. Head down; phone out: check Instagram, check Facebook, iMessage my peeps. Look up: FATE!

Walking down the aisle and stopping at my row, was none other than Mr. Dad and his two blonde daughters. He laughed, I said hello. He situated his daughters across the aisle and then sat down beside me. Someone had decided that our journey together wasn't over.

I find out the girls, Alex, age five and Ashley, age three were traveling with Dad to visit their Aunt and cousins in Dallas.

And off we went, soaring to 30,000 feet for the next two and a half hours. All was quiet for the first two hours. Then Ashley came over and climbed into her dad’s lap with a book, Grace for President. He happily read it to her. She got down, went and grabbed another book and returned to his lap.

“The Ugly Duckling!” I announced when I saw the book. Ashley smiled and said, “You read it.” The apologetic look came across her father’s face again.

“Of course.” I replied, delighted. Ashley dismounted her dad’s lap and climbed into mine, The Ugly Duckling in hand, and we embarked on our literary journey together.

As we finished the book it was time to make our final descent. Ashley returned to her seat leaving me to reflect. I was on my way to a speaking engagement and reading The Ugly Duckling was the best presentation preparation I could have had.

How reading to a child can help improve your speaking skills:

1. Enunciation. When you read aloud to a child, you are forced to speak and pronounce each and every word. And because you are in teaching mode, you will speak slowly and more clearly, therefore your enunciation is naturally enforced. Yes, you will flub over words, even in children’s books, mostly because you aren’t used to speaking when you read. How often do you glaze over words when you read silently? You can’t do that when you are reading a story to a child.

2. Emphasis. Children’s books give you great words to practice your emphasis. CRACK! Animal sounds, action words, and animated exclamations allow the practice of varying your inflection, your reading speed, and your overall performance. Embrace the story and use it to practice your emphasis.

3. Empathy. I felt for the little Ugly Duckling. When the Ugly Duckling was sad, I read in a sad voice. When the Ugly Duckling found out it was really a beautiful swan it was elated, I read in a happy and excited voice. The biggest power you must own when you are speaking is your ability to transfer emotion. Practice your empathy out loud.

4. Enthusiasm. It’s simple. Children do not like boring. They need stimulation. If you are going to read a book to a child, be prepared to use your full tank of energy and enthusiasm. Go all out! The same is true for any presentation you give. Save the audience from a painfully boring and monotone presentation and please, go all out!

Reading aloud is about effectively transferring the message to the audience. The same is true for your speaking skills. Whether you are a teacher, a coach, a parent, a leader, a salesperson, a waiter, or a human, when you apply the same enunciation, emphasis, empathy and enthusiasm used as reading to a child, your presentation will win and your audience will be entranced.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

RED

I knew you were trouble Taylor Swift.

I didn’t want to like you.

I fought back the urge to embrace you.

And then BAM! I walked into Starbucks and your red lips seduced me from the counter.

So I started to listen.

And I started to like it.

And I started to sing along.

And I started to become a fan. Blushing!

I knew you were trouble Taylor Swift, you and your RED album!

I know, I know. You are sitting there, hopefully still reading, thinking “What in the red devil are you getting at Stephanie, I am NOT a T-Swift fan?!”

Duh, neither was I! But over the past months, I became one. It started with my admiration of the marketing and branding genius of her RED album and developed from there with loving nearly every song on the album. I became enough of a fan, I had to attend her RED tour concert (with special guest Ed Sheeran, another must listen artist) and it was one of the best I’ve ever seen.

Since the concert, I’ve tried to put my finger on how Taylor Swift has become the pop-country powerhouse she is. I boiled it down to her one word, RED.

RED: the universal color of passion, blood, love, anger, and business. Yes, business. That is if you are in the business of being a successful entity in your industry.

And as I reflected a little more on the color, my boss and mentor’s best-selling The Little Red Book of Selling smacked me in the face. Both T-Swift and Gitomer had capitalized on the power of RED, big time. And it goes beyond the color. RED is a success principle. It’s the key to not only being listened to, but also being heard.

What does it take to be heard? Follow the RED Principle:

1. Repeat. Taylor Swift has conquered the art of repeating lyrics in her songs. Why is that important? It’s masterful for three reasons: it makes it easy to learn the song, it allows the listener to sing along, and it drives your point home. (We are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together, like ever!) Gitomer does the same thing. He repeats his core philosophies over and over in his weekly columns and books, making it easy for salespeople to grasp what it takes to be the best. Having trouble getting your message to be heard? Identify your key point and repeat, repeat, repeat!

2. Experience. The more experience you gain, the more knowledge you acquire. RED is Taylor Swift’s fourth album; The Little Red Book of Selling is Gitomer’s third published book. While neither were their first attempts to release their message, both are their respective best-selling hits. The secret? They had gained the experience they needed to not just be listened to, but to be heard. The bigger secret? You have to keep trying until you hit “best.” What experience are you gaining? What are you trying to achieve “best” in?

3. Deliver. Deliver beyond the expectations of others and yourself. Your job: give ‘em a show they won’t soon forget. The production value of Taylor Swift’s RED show was beyond first class: from the costumes and the lights (there were chandeliers at one point) to the confetti ending. The production value of The Little Red Book of Selling is unlike any other (non-Gitomer) book: from the cartoons and the compact size to the cloth cover. They deliver their messages in a style that grabs the audience’s attention and amazes them. How are you differentiating your delivery?

You can repeat your message and have the experience, but if you don’t deliver the message in a creatively different way, you will fall on deaf ears.

If you want to be successful, you must not only spread your message, but you must be listened to. Your time to be heard is now. Are you RED-y?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Ready, Set, Grace

I hate being a newbie…at anything. This is probably because I’m slightly controlling and slightly know-it-all. Hey now, you have your own areas for improvement too! When I’m learning something new it makes me vulnerable and that is something I despise more than anything else. And that’s exactly how I found myself last week.

About a month ago, I decided to see what all this Crossfit workout nonsense was all about. I went to a free intro class (classic puppy dog close!) and nearly died. Yes, the free intro class nearly killed me. While I wanted to tell the instructor to go burpee himself, I decided it was time to get back into a fitness routine because let’s face it, my ass isn’t going to lift itself to new bikini heights without a little help and dedication on my part.

So my sweaty journey began. For starters, here is what I love about the program. I had to take four weeks of “foundations” before I could take any of the “real” Crossfit classes. Essentially, I had to train for training. How well are you preparing yourself to dive into something new? How are you training yourself to tackle your next big project, your next big step, and your next big success?

The foundations were great. I learned the exercise moves, worked on my form and technique, increased my lung capacity (so I wasn’t sucking wind after just a few minutes!), and made a few fellow newbie friends. And then it was time, time to box-jump myself into the “real” classes.

Let’s set the scene: Wednesday evening. 6pm. I walk into the once welcoming gym, now transformed into an intimidating atmosphere by thirteen all-muscle, no-jiggle, I could do this in my sleep Crossfitters, none of whom were first timers. UGH! I’m not usually timid or intimidated, but that night, I was both. I was vulnerable. I was miserable.

During the warm-up: “Everyone, this is Stephanie’s first class!” The spotlight shined in my eyes and I shyly smiled. Double UGH!

Work out time: It’s a swarm of bees! Everyone is swirling around me, grabbing weights and bars and kettle bells, oh my! And I’m standing there struck with a chord of loneliness and panic. All of the lighter barbells are taken, all of the workspaces are taken, all of my confidence – taken.

“Would you like to work in with me?” I turned to see a small, very-fit, blonde smiling at me. It was definitely not her first Crossfit rodeo.

“Yes! Thank you.” The panic washed away and I got to moving my butt like a busy bee to get set up and ready. Because this was happening, whether I liked it or not. It was go-time!

“Hi, I’m Stephanie.” I reached my hand out and introduced myself to the girl who had offered to work with me.

“I’m Grace.” She replied.

Let that sink in. 

Ironic? Not at all. Serendipitous? I think so.

My favorite definition of grace: courteous goodwill.

Let these sink in:

• How are you extending courteous goodwill?

• How are you making others feel welcome?

• How are you lending your expertise to a newbie?

• How are you creating a state of grace?

Thank Grace for reminding me that everyone starts as a beginner and it is critical that when you are no longer the newbie, you extend your expertise, your grace, to help others in their own journey. When you help them climb to your heights, your own stock will rise in return.

You were once a beginner. You will once again be a beginner. And all it takes is a little grace to make a lasting impact.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.