Coffee Perks

I’m a serial dater, a bona-fide serial coffee dater. It makes perfect sense. I mean I am the Sales Barista!

A while back I was challenged on an invitation I extended for a coffee date. Denied! I was told coffee is just that – “coffee” a pick-it-up-and-go or brew-it-at-home beverage. Oh how my heart was ripped out! For the love of coffee beans, it’s so much more!

So I forced myself into self-reflection: Why do I prefer coffee dates versus any other kind of meeting?

I boiled it down to one main reason: coffee creates connections.

In this technology-ridden world, it’s a brief time to turn away from the smartphones and focus, engage, and connect with a “smartperson” in a relaxed and welcoming environment. It’s not professionally stuffy, it’s not yoga-pants casual, but instead it is perfectly brewed friendly.

Here are the coffee house connections you can capitalize on:

1. Caffeine. The most popular “drug,” caffeine, boosts energy and alertness when consumed properly. One too many espressos and you may trigger the jitters. However, when you get the dosage just right, it can connect you to a heightened sense of focus and awareness, a huge asset when meeting with prospects, customers, or friends.

2. Conversations. This is the main reason I connect with people over coffee, is because it forces authentic and genuine conversations. If I ask you to coffee, I’m looking to talk, listen, share, collaborate, and communicate together. One-on-one. It’s that simple.

3. Concentration. Laser-sharp focus. Meet in an office, conference room, or a home, and you are subject to interruptions. Meet at your favorite coffee shop and post-order you are left to your own devices. Most coffeehouse-goers are very respectful of not bothering their other smart brew-sipping neighbors. This allows you to dive into deeper concentration and be more productive in less time.

4. Creativity. I also make coffee dates with myself. It’s my creativity haven. I have my very own “Cheers.” It’s called Cast Iron Waffles. My favorite barista, Elsa, knows me, knows my order, and knows to leave me alone once I sit down at my bar stool, open my MacBook Pro, and put in my ear buds. It’s the environment that invokes my most creative juices. I connect, like most other creative types, to the aroma, buzz, and personality of a coffee shop.

OK, OK, so for those of you who may not love coffee, hopefully you are still reading. You may not love coffee shops. You may hate them (GASP!). That’s ok. This is what works for me. What else would you expect from a Sales Barista? The point isn’t to force yourself to make coffee dates if you know it doesn’t work for you. The point is for you to find your own special place to plan professional, personal, and solo dates where you can communicate and concentrate more effectively.

Uncover your place and you will begin to create a calendar with dates you look forward to. Uncover your place and you will begin to be inspired to create deeper connections with others. Uncover your place and you will begin to connect with the person who matters most - YOU!

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

There's No Place Like Home

I'm standing in a sea of 30,000 people singing “Home” in imperfect harmony, as my eyes, heart, and spirit well up with pride.

It’s an amazing experience, to be surrounded by so many people, in my hometown, all experiencing the overwhelming and heightened emotions of being home. 

What feelings does the word “home” evoke for you?

Safety? Security? Happiness? Peace? Comfort? 

I have learned that home is a distinct word that can create special emotions for each person. I’ve also learned that you must create three home fronts in order to be your best. 

How to create your best three homes for success:

1. Personal Home. It could be an apartment, a townhouse, a mansion, or a shack, but your personal home, must be somewhere you feel comfortable, happy, and at peace. The personal home is a reflection of your entire life. If your closet is cluttered, your life is probably cluttered. If there is dust on your floors, there is probably dust in your mind. If there is crayon on the walls, there is probably a three-year-old running around! Your personal home is an expression of yourself; it’s a direct representation of how you see you. When you take the time to adorn your house with décor, you are taking the time to build a sanctuary of your personality and interests. But there is one room that is more important than any other in your home: YOUR room. Whoever invented the concept of “man cave” was spot on! I challenge you to create your own man cave room. Don’t argue with me and say, but I don’t have an extra room to make all for myself. Improvise! At minimum create your own “space” just for you. A spot where you can read, think, write, create, pray, and be with the best person in the world, you! 

2. Work Home. It’s the place you spend thirty, forty, maybe fifty or more hours a week, so why wouldn’t you think of work as your alternate home? I’m a huge advocate for making your workspace, your space, by infusing it with things that inspire you. My space includes pictures, awards, books, candles, and a collection of coffee mugs. It’s distinctly Sales Barista! What’s on your desk? How are you taking ownership of your work home like you do your personal home? Do you take the time to adorn your work space and your actual WORK with your personality and interests? Or do you simple check the tasks off your list without taking full home ownership? 

3. Internal Home. The space inside your body is your internal home, your mind, your conscious, your heart, and your spirit. This the most important to take care of, and usually the one that is most frequently ignored. Taking care of yourself, your mind, your body, and your heart is what contributes to a healthy life. When was the last time you focused in? When you took the time to decorate your internal you as much as the external? When you adorn your spirit with your true interests, you create an internal glow that is hard for others to ignore. What’s your passion? What’s your interest? What are you doing about it? How’s your spiritual home? Empty, half-full, or fully Martha Stewart-ly decorated?

LIVING ROOM: In every home you have to take the time to work on the living room. That’s the area where you actually make the room to live (thanks Michelle!). And while it’s ok to dwell alone, life is not about living alone. It’s meant to be shared with other people. When you combine a physical place with people and the pleasure of experiencing life together, that’s when you are home.

Home can be a place, a dwelling, a big city or small town. Home can be four walls, a staircase, and a walk in closet. Home can even be a button on your phone or Facebook page. 

For me, home is experiencing happiness, peace, and love in as many moments of your life as you can. There’s no place like that home.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Where's Stephanie? Somewhere in this singing sea!

Post by Troy High School.

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

I Made A Mistake

“Big mistake. Big. HUGE!” 

Do you see the pretty woman whose mouth those words spilled out from?

I’m not one to quote movies, but this is one of my favorites, from the scene laced with sweet revenge by the profiled and mistreated Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

While most people identify with Julia Roberts (no, I’m not talking about the fantasy of being a prostitute in Hollywood who gets rescued by the oh-so-dapper and extremely wealthy Richard Gere and gets to shop with wild abandon on Rodeo Drive) but rather most identify with her as the person who was afflicted with pain by someone else’s mistake.

How many times are you the sales person in that memorable movie scene? How many times are you the one who has made the “big mistake”?

Me? Numerous! Even recently I’ve made some hard-to-swallow mistakes that take time, energy, and reflection to move past.

Mistake. Error. Faux pas. Call it what you will, but mistakes happen. Mistakes happen in life and they also happen in business. Do you know what the big mistake, the huge mistake is? Not knowing how to recover once the mistake is made.

How to recover from a mistake:

1. Acknowledge. Just like any addiction, the first step is to acknowledge that you even made a mistake. Most people blame, point fingers, make excuses, do anything they can to avoid the simple acknowledgement that they were the culprit. It will take an honest moment of self-reflection to recognize the real reason why the mistake occurred. Once you are honest with yourself (the hardest part in my opinion), you can move on to being honest with others, and especially with the people who the mistake affected.

2. Apologize. It takes guts to admit when you have done something or been in the wrong. It takes balls to confront the people who were affected by your mistake, look them in the eye, and genuinely apologize. You don’t have to be sorry, but you do need to be sincere, genuine, and apologetic. This is not the time to drum up your excuses again; this is just a straightforward admittance that you messed up. It’s not easy to profess your mistakes, oh but it is rewarding when it’s accepted. Once you apologize, listen to what they have to say, and then work together to move forward and recover.

3. Accept. You don’t get to accept your own apology, that’s for the other person to determine. But what you do have to accept is that you messed up and then it’s time to move on. Don’t dwell on the mistake, instead recover from it. Don’t beat yourself up over the mistake, instead learn from it. Most importantly, have the self-awareness to not make the same mistake again.

4. Advance. So, you admitted you made a mistake, apologized, and have personally accepted it, now it’s time to advance. Put the mistake behind you and carry on. Howard Schultz, Starbucks CEO, titled his book with one of my favorite, very underutilized words, Onward. That’s what you do. You pick up and you push onward, learning and living through the mistake experience.

I made a mistake and it did not make me a pretty woman. It was a big mistake, big, huge! So big that it allowed me to re-evaluate, self-evaluate, and mistake-evaluate. I’ve acknowledged it, apologized for it, accepted it, and now I’m moving onward. I hope the next time you make a mistake; you’ll do the same. Mistakes happen. If you face them with eyes, mind, and heart wide open, they will teach you exactly what you need to know.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Profitable Relationships

Breaking up is hard to do.

You may disagree if you are looking at the current divorce rate, so humor me and think about your answer to this question:  How long have you stayed in a relationship after you knew it wasn’t working?

Hmmmm…and why do you stay in a bad relationship?

“It’s comfortable.”

Guilty? I am. I’ve stayed and tried to make relationships work way after my gut, head, and heart all were telling me to RUN! Sticking around hoping for the other person to change, the situation to change, the feelings to change. Change happens. But the change you are looking for usually doesn’t occur in well-established, comfortable relationships.

Comfortable is just another word for lazy. People are innately lazy, very lazy.

Now don’t go getting in a tizzy with me. Not all people are lazy. Successful people definitely wouldn’t be classified as lazy. They don’t stay in relationships that aren’t creating a profit for them. Yes, a profit.

Most people have a misconception about profit. You hear “profit” and you think money. I don’t. With a background in, and passion for non-profit, I tend to think differently about the concept of profits.

Profit defined:

profit |ˈpräfit|

noun

1. a financial gain, esp. the difference between the amount earned and the amount spent in buying, operating, or producing something.

2. advantage; benefit

Take a minute and focus on the second definition: advantage or benefit. Business relationships either produce a profit, or they don’t. And that profit is both financial and beneficial.

Let me break down the true profits of great business relationships:

Pleasure. Your business relationships should be a PIA: pleasure in action (not the other kind of PIA!). You should be experiencing pleasure while doing business together, not pain. It’s a happy, joyful exchange…most of the time.

Respect. A mutual respect for how each person and each company conducts business and it’s openly shown. Respect is two-fold; something you feel and something you demonstrate.

Open Communication. When things are going great and when things go wrong you communicate. Proactive and open communication is a relationship maker or breaker. You should be able to express your thoughts, issues, fears, hopes, dreams, passions, mistakes, and victories. And they should be able to with you.

Friendship. The best business relationships evolve into friendships. You genuinely like each other, want what’s best for each other, and enjoy working together.

Investment. There is a mutual investment in helping both parties achieve success. That investment could be time, energy, resources, people, ideas, or money. But on some level you are making a contribution to their success.

Treasure. You feel appreciated, wanted, needed and accepted as the treasure you are.

If you aren’t feeling the profit in your relationship, it may be time for you to initiate a breakup. EEK! Don’t fret; I’m not going to tell you to breakup without giving you a quick three-step how-to.

How to facilitate a business breakup:

1. Explain why you feel the relationship is no longer working. No blaming. No pointing fingers. No accusations. Deliver an honest account of your feelings.

2. Listen. Allow for a rebuttal, response, and excuses (hopefully no crying or worse, screaming!). Listen to their thoughts and feelings with an understanding that they could feel exactly the same or be caught off guard.

3. Propose the next step. Provide an action plan for how to dissolve your relationship properly. No hard feelings. No burning bridges. Develop a professional exit strategy to ensure both parties are content.

Relationships take work and effort by all involved. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Heed my advice: if it isn’t working – don’t stay hoping, wishing, and willing change! You create the change. Step up to a breakup. Because in business, only one type of relationship works: a profitable one.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Compliments that Pay

Black patent pumps: fashion accessory, weapon, and engagement tool.

My shoes get noticed. Mostly because I’m double-tall, measuring at the average U.S. male height of 5’8”. However, put on my heels, and I catapult to six-foot, give or take an inch. That said my shoes tend to receive attention. And commented on. Regularly. Oh, and yes, they do tend to be quite fabulous.

On this particular day, I was in the hallway of the Gaylord National Resort (D.C.) setting up a table of Gitomer books, rocking my pair of professional, plain-Jane, black patent, square-toed pumps.

“Nice shoes.” The hotel employee commented as he walked past.

“Thank You.” I responded with a wide grin.

NOTE: Compliment a woman on something she is wearing and she is going to smile. Duh!

We chatted for a few minutes about his girlfriend, who is obsessed with shoes, and how, because of that, he had begun to notice other women’s shoes. It was a nice, surface-level, conversation.

Minutes later, another man approached and began speaking about how he was a big fan of Jeffrey and how he reads his weekly email magazine from top to bottom. I love meeting people who tout how loyally they read Sales Caffeine; it’s a measuring stick to see if they read the best part, my article!

We chatted for a few minutes about Gitomer and sales. However, nothing was mentioned about my shoes. Bummer! As the conversation was closing, I handed him my business card.

“Wait, you’re the Sales Barista?” He asked as he read my title.

I smiled. He really is a loyal reader. “Yes.”

“Oh I love your writing. One of my favorites, besides Jeffrey of course.” He replied.

I beamed. I am putty in your hands, sir.

NOTE: Compliment a woman on something she has accomplished and she will not only smile, but also light up.  AHA!

I reflected on the two interactions: two men, two conversations, two smiles, but two completely different compliments. The first was a surface-level observation compliment. The second was a knowledge-based engagement compliment. Big difference. Big. HUGE!

While the second compliment was off-the-cuff, unbeknownst to him, it was actually a well-prepared compliment. He knew me and knew my work, making him equipped to pay me a more engaging compliment.

Do you know how to connect deeper with your customers through the compliments you are paying?

How to give professional compliments that pay:

1. Compliment their Product (service). Study it, research it, Google it, use it. Get to know their product or service from the inside out and then give them a bona fide, I know what I’m talking about, compliment. Dive below the surface-level and learn more about how their products work, help, and produce for their customers.

2. Compliment their Process. The way they are conducting their business, their process for helping their customers, their process for recognizing employees, find something they are “doing” well and compliment them on it. The processes by which your customers operate make or break them. Be sure they know you are aware of how they are accomplishing greatness.

3. Compliment their Profit. Every company wants to be recognized for being successful and making money, your customers included. Blood, sweat, tears and caffeine go into making a company stay in the green. To commend a customer their profits will differentiate you from your competition and elevate your relationship to the next level.

I will always prefer to be recognized for my intelligence and accomplishments to my appearance. Compliment my shoes and you'll make me smile. Compliment my mind and you'll engage me in a conversation and possibly a sale. Compliments have profit power. How are your compliments paying you?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Push Me, Push Me Real Good

“I can’t do it! I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.”

Those words flew out of my mouth as I stood 630 feet above the sprawling concrete jungle of Auckland. What the, pardon my French, did I just get myself into?

I was standing on the tallest building in the southern hemisphere, strapped into a harness, toes on the ledge, looking out at the beautiful bay, and being told to JUMP! You can imagine my hesitation but perhaps not the meltdown that ensued, which is all too conveniently captured on video.

It was a great idea to begin with.

Why not jump from the SkyTower? It was only 192 metres in 11 seconds. I got that. Oh wait, you mean that’s really 630 feet? EEK, I’m not feeling so sure about this anymore.

Here’s the thing about great ideas, they sound sane until it’s time to execute. That’s when you uncover all of the excuses that will prevent you from growth.

So I’m standing on the edge, having a fear induced breakdown and ready to walk away when the jump therapist (not sure of his official title), asks if I’d rather jump backwards. Hmmm, now there’s an idea.

So I pull myself together, psych up my psyche and position myself to not face the impending doom.

“1-2-3-JUMP!” And I did. And I screamed. And I ooed. And I aahed. And eleven seconds later I softly fell onto the land pad target.

AUCK-MAZE-LAND-ING!

As I collected my thoughts from the landing pad, I scolded myself for being hesitant, for having doubt, fear, and anxiety. So when the young guy who helped to unhook me asked if I wanted to go again (free of charge this time) of course I jumped at the chance.

Interesting Note: Sky Tower used their employees or patrons as advertising. If people weren’t jumping, there was no attention being drawn to their business. Seeing people use their product (jumping off the tower) was the best was to develop interest and draw new people to their doors. Take Note: How are you showcasing your product or business? How are you gaining new prospects attention through demonstration?

So here I went again. Up the 54 floors in the elevator, out to the ledge, all ready to jump facing forward this time.

“1-2-3-JUMP!” I didn’t.

“OK Stephanie, Let’s try this again. 1-2-3-JUMP!” I couldn’t.

“One more time, you have to let go. OK? 1-2-3-JUMP” I wouldn’t.

“Can I go backwards?” I asked sheepishly as the self-disappointment washed over me.

“Sure.”

I turned around, got set, “1-2-3-JUMP!” I went flying.

The thrill and wonder of the experience subsided as I landed and again I was frustrated with my inability to jump face forward. Why was going backwards so much easier?

That’s when the AHA of the whole experience hit me. When I was facing backwards, I didn’t have to let go and jump. Instead, I was more or less pushed off by the jump assistant. I didn’t jump. I wouldn’t jump. I couldn’t let go (control-freak). But I was fine with being pushed, being shoved into a free-fall where once I was in it, I was able to master it.

All I needed was someone to push me. Twice.

Who is pushing you?

Who is throwing you off the ledge?

Who is catapulting you into the future you are meant to have?

Who is pushing you even when you are facing something you’ve already conquered?

Fear is idea-crippling, experience-crushing, and success-stalling. Fear is the biggest self-inflicted inhibitor you will face. Fear is to be pushed, pushed real good, pushed all the way out until you free fall into your dreams.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Check out more pictures of me at the Sky Tower!

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the Michelle at Buy Gitomer via email at michelle@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.