Jeffrey Gitomer, International Man of Wisdom

Curitiba, Brasil: that is where I was when I realized how blessed I am in my professional life.

Sitting in the breakfast area of the Full Jazz Hotel, I was enjoying the pleasant breeze of a Brazilian morning, noshing on the brightest of fruit, drinking the heaviest of coffees, and listening to the laughter of Jeffrey.

It was our last morning of a five-day trip to Curitiba, where Jeffrey had addressed an international audience of 450 adoring fans. He was happy, content, and in his element.

We were spending the morning working, reflecting on what the past days experiences had taught us, and laughing, because when you are with Jeffrey, laughing is the one constant.

And then it happened. In the quiet after-math of our laughter, the wisdom of my boss, mentor, and friend, emerged. He paused and his tone lowered and he taught me. He transformed from the public figure that most only know him as, to the gentle, wise soul, I so frequently get to see. And in that moment, he took the perfect opportunity to do what only he can do, teach me about me and about who I can become.

You see that is what great mentors do. They teach. They encourage. They share. They enlighten. And they share with you their wisdom and their laughter so that when it seeps into the deepest depths of your soul, you learn.

I am blessed. I have had these fleeting moments of mentorship enough in my three and a half years of working with Jeffrey, that I gobble them up with excitement when they occur. They are my Gitomer Gold Nuggets that I treasure, reflect on, and keep for future use. They have molded me into a believer that I am destined to be more than what I set out for myself to achieve. 

Jeffrey is not a conventional boss by any means. But he has mastered the two elements that allow his people to flourish around him, encouragement and clarifying teaching moments.

Jeffrey writes and speaks on the lost secret of leadership: encouragement. As an employee who has been on the receiving end of leader encouragement, I can testify for him that this is one of his best principles. He encourages me to do more, be better, and try harder. And he does so, with a genuine grace, that the only valid response is a smile, heightened self-esteem, and positive energy. When leaders encourage their people, they will have happier employees producing more.

But more than encouraging me, he takes the time to enlighten me about myself. It’s quite brilliant if you think about it. He is teaching me about how to be better by talking with me, about me. Who doesn’t want to hear someone talk about them (positively)? Jeffrey is a wise observer, who notices the smallest of details, that if slightly shifted, it could change something from good to best. These clarifying teaching moments go something like this:

• We are conversing about something related to him, his company (Buy Gitomer), his writing, his speaking, or his family. Then he will soften and tell me to “take a note.”

• Jeffrey will ask me a question, about me.

• As I answer, he will listen intently.

• Then the magic comes…he tells me his answer. And it’s the best present he can give me. It’s his experience, knowledge, wisdom, and humor all wrapped up with a bow of love. And he gives it to me, unselfishly so that I can unwrap it and use it to make myself a better version of who he already knows I will become.

This is the Jeffrey Gitomer I know.

The Jeffrey Gitomer I work for.

The Jeffrey Gitomer I respect.

The Jeffrey Gitomer I admire.

The Jeffrey Gitomer I soak up.

The Jeffrey Gitomer I learn from.

And the Jeffrey Gitomer I laugh with.

His words always encourage, always protect, and always push me to see what he already sees. And all the while, take note: we never lack laughter or learning.

View a photo album of our trip on my Sales Barista Facebook Page.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Replacement Refs: There’s a Flag on the Play

Roger Goodell, Commissioner of the NFL, had his phone number tweeted by Wisconsin State Senator, Jon Erpenbach on Monday night after the most controversial touchdown call ever determined the outcome of the Packers-Seahawks game. Did you catch that? TWEETED!

After receiving 70,000 direct phone calls and nearly 300,000 angry #MNF tweets, the NFL referee lockout ended. Ironic? Coincidence? I think not. The social media platform allowed customers of the NFL to be heard, and that they were. Chirp Chirp Mr. Goodell.

Wait, there's a yellow flag on the field!

"Illegal forward pass, Offense, 48 game penalty. Replay second down."

Let me break it down for you:

Illegal forward pass - Moving forward with un-prepared replacement referees.

Offense - NFL.

48 game penalty - Games played under the rule of the replacement refs.

Let me break it down for you further.

The NFL hired 135 replacement referees. These guys may have worked in college, high school, or Pop Warner football games. A few were even from the Lingerie League, one of which was fired, bless his heart.

In August, these men were no more ready than I was to referee at the professional level. They were amateurs. And the NFL didn't invest the time or money to properly train them. Shame on you, NFL!

Forty-eight games and one horrific call later, they are finally off the field (and collecting a check for week 4), leaving a lesson in how to run the business of backups.

Here is how you can learn from the NFL's penalty play:

1. Make a Plan B. Things happen. People leave. Computers crash. Money disappears. Contracts fall through. Things happen. One of the major business failures is to not have a Plan B. Elizabeth, the producer of Sales Caffeine, humors our office in regards to executing a Plan B. My favorite line from her, "God Forbid, I get hit by a bus! We need someone else that knows how to do my job." She's right. This is Sales Caffeine Issue #569, which means it has ran for 569 Tuesday's straight. Do you think we aren't going to have a backup plan to ensure the streak doesn't end? What's your backup plan? Do you have people in place to pick up the pieces, to substitute in, and to be the replacement?

2. Invest in proper training. And once you do have the Plan B in place, you have to allow for proper training. The NFL didn't invest in adequately training these refs to be true replacements. A real replacement would have been able to perform at nearly the same level as their predecessor. They would know the rulebook, the penalties, and how to turn their microphone's on without hesitation. Instead, we saw game after game with dazed and confused black and white shirts. All these guys needed was a little TLC; training, leading, and communicating.

3. Support the replacements. Executing your Plan B requires that you support the replacements, whole-heartedly. They may stumble, make bad calls, and cause you to be bombarded with angry tweets and phone calls, but your job, as a leader, is to stand behind your Plan B and your people. Some of you may think I'm batty for saying this after the touchdown call the replacement refs made against Green Bay on Monday night. Well, Green Bay had another bad call on Sunday when running back Sproles clearly fumbled but was instead ruled down by contact. Um, down by contact my rear! Even the "best" will make mistakes.

When you have to implement your Plan B and put a replacement in the game, remember these three things; it's your decision, it's your game, and it's your reputation. Manage accordingly. The time will come for replacements. Are you ready?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Lasting Impressionist

New York City. Swoon!

I just spent four days in the city that never sleeps doing what all thirty-something ladies do in Manhattan. Shop, sip and sightsee.

If you have never been to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), I would highly recommend it, specifically the fourth and fifth floors where you will find all of the most notable artists of the 19^th and 20^th centuries. Perhaps the names Picasso, van Gogh, Kandinsky, Chagall, Matisse, Severini, and Monet ring a bell?

When I arrived on the 5^th floor, there was one gold-framed piece that was guarded, crowded, and photographed more than any other piece of art, Vincent van Gogh’s Starry Night. But that wasn’t what garnered my attention and sparked my mind. It was back in a corner, in a separate room, where I fell into the vast heaven of Monet.

There was a distinct air about this area of MoMA. You could sense the awe and wonder as people quietly stood or sat on the benches in front of the sprawling canvases, where two of his Water Lilies series filled two entire walls. You could hear the respect, as this was the quietest place in MoMA.

After I swirled out of the lavender and pale pink trance I was in, I wanted to know more. So I read about Mr. Claude Monet. And was stunned. These pieces took twelve years to create…come again?!

Astonished, I still wanted to know more.  So after my trip ended, and I arrived home via turbulence and oh so friendly TSA, I did what any person who wants to learn more about anything does…I Googled it.

For those of you, who are like me and maybe are not as well versed in notable artists like Monet, here is what you need to know:

• He was 74 when he started his Water Lilies series.

• His eyesight was failing during the twelve-year span that he painted these pieces leading him to be criticized for their blurriness.

• After he passed, the Water Lilies stayed in Giverny for twenty years until they were rediscovered by curators.

Oh Monet, you silly French hen! You epitomized three life lessons that if recognized before you die, can help you live.

Here are three life lessons I learned from Monet:

1. It’s never too late to begin.  At 74 years young, Monet began painting the pieces that he is now most recognized for. I hear people regularly at 34 or 44 or 54 saying “it’s too late." I scoff at them. If a man of 74 with failing eyesight can begin a new project, than why can’t you do anything? Go back to school, change careers, have a baby or travel more.  It’s only too late to begin if you allow it to be too late or if you are dead. Are you dead?

2. It takes time to create a masterpiece. Twelve years for Monet. What about you? Most quit too soon, because it is hard or isn’t producing the immediate gratification society has come to expect. Most won’t continually pursue something that takes months, years, or decades to perfect. Hello diet pills and steroids! The easy road doesn’t create a masterpiece, hard work and time creates masterpieces. What are you working on?

3. It takes time for others to recognize and appreciate your accomplishments. Just because you see the brilliance behind your masterpiece doesn’t mean others will. You may be considered “crazy”, “off”, “nuts”, or “different” (like Steve Jobs was). But with hard work, determination, and passion, your masterpiece will shine for others to admire and appreciate, eventually if not immediately. 

I understand now why Monet was considered the founder of French impressionist painting, because his artwork left a lasting impression on my eyes, heart, and working soul.

See an entire gallery of my favorite pieces from MoMA by going here: Lasting Impressionist Album

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

I am a Victoria's Secret Model

I am a Victoria’s Secret Model.

I am America’s Next Top Model.                                    

I am the next American Idol.

I am Top Chef.

I am the next best-selling author.

At least in my head I am.

I’m also a realist and I understand I’m a pear-shaped, shaky soprano, take-out queen.

But in my head I’m a lot of things. That’s where all of my dreams, aspirations, and confidence live, in the conscience of my being. What’s swimming in the depths of your core? What are you dreaming of achieving?

As I’ve aged I’ve realized a few things about dreams. They coincide greatly with your confidence. You are either your worst critic or your best cheerleader. All greatness comes from a core belief inside you, not from your mom, dad, brother, sister, dog, friend, boss, or spouse. It comes solely from you. Do tell me, who is lining your subconscious sideline, a critic or a cheerleader?

Growing up I was teased about my big nose (um, duh, I’m Italian). In high school, I didn’t go to prom. I wasn’t even asked. In college, I was self-conscience about my hips, thighs and butt. I felt bad about myself. And when the many would compliment me, contrary to what the few had critiqued me on, I would brush it off. Because it was easier to believe what the critics would say – because that is what I believed.

And then something happened. Little by little, I built upon the small and fleeting moments of self-love. I contribute a lot of this revelation to maturing and determining that I’m not going to live based on what others think of me. The other part came from the encouraging words of others, being successful in my work, and allowing the real Stephanie to stand up.

Here is how you can begin believing you are more than what you think you are:

1. Accept and believe the compliments you receive. When someone decides to say something of a complimentary nature, it is downright rude of you not to accept it. So be polite and say thank you. Most people are trained to challenge or argue compliments. Who taught you that? Didn’t your mother teach you better than that? Don’t discount their compliment because of your own self-doubt. Instead build upon it. When you start with a thank you and focus on what they have told you, you will begin to build up your own self-confidence.

2. Write down self-love affirmations. These are things that you love about yourself. Come on, you’re sexy and you know it! Your job is to capture these and write them down. Just like goals, it’s easier to believe something when it’s written down. You don’t have to share these with anyone, BUT you do need to share them with yourself. Capture the thoughts, dreams, and aspirations that are in the corners of your heart and head. The thoughts you believe others would find you insane, for these are the real gems.

3. Ignore the critics. It’s not easy, but it is necessary to build your self-confidence. It may sting at first, but the best response is to treat the critic just like the cheerleader and say “thank you.” However, instead of accepting it, dismiss it. Easier said than done, I know. But it’s necessary. You are not living your life for anyone other than you. Once you realize this truth, you will break free from the chains of criticism.

4. Encourage others. You will in turn encourage yourself. If you want to build up your own self-belief, self-confidence, and self-love, start by building someone else’s. The positive words you speak to others will start to creep into your own subconscious, challenging you to believe more in yourself. Try it out. The worst that can happen is you help someone. Would that be so terrible?

These days I see my nose as a symbol of my heritage. I’m embracing my pear assets. And I believe it when someone tells me I’m beautiful. I believe it, because I, internally with all of who I am, truly believe it. Now where’s the runway?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.