Breaking Up Bubba

I love a man who wears pink.

So, this past Sunday, as I half-watched, half-listened, and half worked, out of the corner of my eye, Bubba Watson, stole a little piece of my heart.

And then when I started to stalk further into this man's story, he stole a little bit more.

He had six, second place PGA finishes and three Major championships.
And then it happened. He won one of the most prestigious sporting awards of all time - the Masters. As I watched him be adorned with the elusive green jacket, I watched his innocent face fill with emotion. And during his interview, he simply stated, "I never got this far in my dreams."

Isn't that ironic?
No. It is life.
Aren't the majority of our most precious accomplishments ones that we never dream of?

We hear it all the time.
And the Oscar goes to so-and-so.
"Oh thank you, I'd never dreamed I would standing here, blah blah blah."

People never dream and yet they accomplish some amazing successes. They break-up to the next level. Why?

I never dreamed I would be working for Jeffrey Gitomer, speaking at a level where people pay to hear what I have to say, and writing in an e-publication that has hundreds of thousands of readers. No, I never dreamed that. But it happened. So I conclude: dreams are useless. You don't need to dream big to break-up to the next level of success.

Here's what you DO need to break-up to the next level:

1. Talent. It's the raw and impressive talent that you have a sense of ownership over. You know what you excel at. The problem is that most people don't know what their limitations are. If you know you are not good at something, stop wasting your time. Instead, focus on where your talent is, the skills that make others take notice of you, and develop them. Bubba Watson has a golf-given skill. He can drive a ball 194 mph. And he has never had a professional golf lesson in his life. That's talent. Raw talent. What's yours?

2. Persistence. People who reach the next level of success, don't quit - they persist. They push, pull, and fight to continue to grow, to learn, to improve, to gauge, and to accomplish. They understand the short-term and the long-term and their place in that picture and they use persistence to break-up to the next level. They have a level of drive that others may classify as "nuts," (hello, Steve Jobs - thank you for ignoring the doubters, otherwise I would not be writing this on my MacBook Pro), and they don't care, they simply persist; beyond anything.

3. Hard work. Nothing happens until someone acts. Hard work is a common word; with which we all have our own definitions. What I see as hard work, you may not. Let me define "hard work" in my terms to you - working harder than anyone else to improve your own skill set to your personal best. Hard work doesn't necessarily mean being the first to work and the last to leave, it just means working smart and diligently to improve and get better, everyday.

4. Passion. It's a part of life. Passion is a major driver in success. If you don't love and feel a connection with what you are trying to break-up to, you'll never succeed. The person with the heart and passion is the person who will figure out a way to make it happen, because of their love. Love will always find a way, right? RIGHT!

Bubba Watson broke-up. He broke-up in a big way and yet he never got that far in his dreams. What are you breaking up to? Where are your talents, persistence, hard work, and passion leading you? I bet it's to nowhere you have ever dreamed of.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Controlling Customers

I am a control freak. A bona fide, high-maintenance, don’t color outside the lines control freak!

I do not adjust well to change. I do not like it when plans change. I do not break the rules. I do not cope well with adjusting expectations. When shift happens, the shift hits my fan.

Chef Mike Horri is also a control freak. He is the “soup Nazi” of Italian food (all of you Seinfeld fans know exactly what I’m talking about. Can’t you hear it now: “No soup for you!”).

And Chef Mike is the newest addition to my list of stars.

I met Chef Mike last week. I was traveling for work (public seminar events for Jeffrey Gitomer in Seattle) and some of our event volunteers recommended we have dinner at Pasta Freska, Mike’s restaurant. So off we went, three men (Andy, Jordan, and Kevin) and a little sales barista to Pasta Freska.

First impression – the pizza slice shaped building was slightly shabby but gave off a you-know-it’s-going-to-be-good, hole-in-the-wall feel to me.

Second impression – Chef Mike, who had fully embraced the role of owner and head chef clad in his white chef’s jacket asked, “how many?”

Third impression – We were sat at our dimly lit yet cozy table for four - the lighting could be better.

Fourth impression – Where are the menus? What?! No menus! This can’t be right. How am I able to control my meal if there are no menus?

What followed was Chef Mike making one simple statement, four times, “Tell me one food that you absolutely can’t stand.”

“ONIONS!” I definitely wasn’t scared to answer that question. And around the table Chef Mike went until he had four answers…onions, anchovies, chunks of tomatoes, ditto. And that was it. Chef Mike walked away and dinner was ordered. Can you believe it?

What ensued next was a 7-course dinner filled with the most perfectly-paired red wine, roasted eggplant, salad, mouth-melting garlic bread, pasta, sweetly stuffed chicken marsala, mussels, salmon, a quartet of desserts, and for me – not one single onion. DELISH!

This was THE best restaurant experience of my life. And it single-handedly can be attributed to the star-quality of Chef Mike.

What made Chef Mike a star? What made him shine brighter than all of the other restaurant experiences?

Three simple reasons: he was an expert, he was exuberant, and he was in control.

How to elevate your own star quality:
1. Be an Expert. Chef Mike is an expert; an expert of pasta, Italian food, wine, restaurants, and overall dining experiences. Not one of us questioned what he was going to serve us. He was confident from his greeting to the slamming of the wine on our table. He established himself as an expert not only by his position of founder and chef (don’t get me wrong, that helps) but also by the way he walked and talked. How much of an expert are you both in position and poise?
2. Be Exuberant. Chef Mike was full of life and love for his job and it RADIATED from him, making it contagious and affecting us, in a good way. He was happy and fully engaged with each customer’s experience. His exuberant personality made up over half of his star quality. When you love what you do, it radiates and affects everyone around you. How effective is your exuberance?
3. Be in Control. Pasta Freska’s website states: “Dinner at Pasta Freska is based on Chef Mike Horri's ‘Have it your way’ philosophy!’” But I disagree. I would instead say: “Dinner at Pasta Freska is based on Chef Mike Horri’s ‘Have it MY way’ philosophy!” Mike controlled everything as soon as we walked into his restaurant. He controlled our greeting, our table, our menu, our wine, our food, and our overall experience. All the while, making sure not to serve us anything that we absolutely hated. He was a control freak. How much of a control freak are you? Are you controlling your customer’s greetings, their orders, and their overall experience?

Chef Mike is a control freak and he is a star. He is the epitome of controlling your business, your environment, and your customers to ensure that they have an amazing experience that will leave them bragging about you to everyone they know.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Super Tuesday

419 delegates.
10 states.
4 candidates.

Who will win?

You may be saying – who cares? To which I would respond: a lot of Republicans do.

But don’t worry, this isn’t going to be some political tirade (because I’m not a donkey) this is about you winning – winning your race.

Don’t think you are in the running? Haven’t proclaimed your candidacy?

Wake up and smell the Starbucks (I gave it up for Lent, so these days I would have to say, wake up and smell the fresh-brewed Keurig K-cup), of course you are in the running! You declared your candidacy the minute you entered the workforce. And there are no age or citizenship qualifications in this race - just you and your reputation are all that qualify you to win or lose the career election.

So…who’s managing your campaign? Who’s running attack ads on you? Who’s voting for you?

Haven’t thought about your career in this way? Maybe you should.

Think about how differently you would act if you knew all of your dirty career secrets were going to be public knowledge? That you were going to have other candidates attacking you and trying to take you down. Haven’t I just described your competition? Aren’t they trying to take you down so they can win, either your job or your customers?

So how do you run a campaign that gets you all the votes?

Here’s how to win your career election:
1. Build a positive reputation. Your reputation precedes you. You have heard this saying millions of times. And before social media it was 100% true, now it’s 500% true. With the revolution of social media, it’s easier than ever for someone to learn everything about you, good and bad, way before you ever meet. Keep this in mind while you are building your image and interacting with colleagues, customers, your family and friends. Every step you take, word you chose, and action you make builds your reputation. Walk positively, speak positively and act positively. This will guide you to a positive reputation. How’s your reputation? Positive? Are you positive about that?

2. Get endorsements. Want to win a race? Find someone to endorse you. Get someone to publicly announce they are supporting you and your efforts and it will work wonders. Especially if it is someone who also has a positive reputation, is trusted and looked to as an influential person. And the best person would be someone you have done business with, not your mom (sorry Mom!). This person can speak to your strengths (and shocker, your weaknesses) but also talk to how you work, how you serve, how you communicate, and how you perform - your end results. Who is willing to endorse you? Do you have more than one?

3. Fight fair. Represent yourself with integrity by fighting fair. If you are going to go up against a competitor, talk about the facts, not your opinions of them. No one gets ahead by trash-talking the competition. It makes you look petty and low. Instead, find a way to elevate yourself by singing your own praises. Highlight your own competitive advantages instead of harping on their disadvantages. Fighting fair allows you to look good two-fold, by showing how you believe you are the best and also how you are a bigger person. It’s easy to attack the other party, it’s a lot more difficult to look in the mirror and talk about what YOU bring to the table. How fair are you fighting?

This Super Tuesday, people are casting their votes on a republican candidate for their party’s presidential nomination. And today, people are casting their votes on you and your competition. Who will win? Will it be you? Or will you be forced to withdraw from the race?

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.

Dance with Somebody

Whitney Houston died.
I sent that text to my mom on Saturday night at 8:45pm.
I sent it to my mom because I remember listening to Whitney Houston cassette tapes with her while I was growing up. I remember how my mom thought Whitney Houston was gorgeous when we watched The Bodyguard.

When I found out about her passing, while sitting at the Charlotte Bobcats game via Facebook (another notch to the power of social media belt), the first person I thought to tell was my mother. So I texted her and over the past two days, I’ve read and listened to accounts of people’s opinions while I sat silently and digested all that had happened.

A singing icon died.
Yes, she was too young.
Yes, it is a tragedy.
Yes, it was most likely preventable.

But I saw it as a lesson in team building.
A lesson in surrounding yourself with people who will push you to be better, to not fail, to not give up, to not perish, but to rise above and be better.

I don’t know if Whitney Houston had a team that surrounded her.
I don’t know what efforts were made to save her, push her, or raise her to being her best.

What I do know is that regardless of what did or did not happen, failure occurred. Because Whitney Houston is no longer striving to be her best, she is no longer dancing with somebody.

Who are you dancing with? Who is pushing you? Who doesn’t give up on you even when you have given up on yourself? Do you have that somebody?

Are you that somebody?

How do you become that somebody?

Here's what you have to do to be a dance partner in someone’s life:
1. Praise. Positive words and reinforcement can catapult a person to their next level of success. Whether you are a co-worker, boss, teacher, coach, parent or friend, communicating kind words of praise will help boost self-confidence, allowing them to try harder. One of the biggest mistakes we make is only communicating when failure or large accomplishments occurs. It’s much harder to consciously praise people in our lives for their small positive actions that are helping them progress to a higher level of excellence. We all know the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” As a dance partner, you want to remember to: Don’t forget to praise the small stuff!
2. Push. This is a major obligation you have when you sign up to be someone’s dance partner. You must be willing to push them to do more and to do better. Sometimes people need to be pushed because they fail to push themselves, or they don’t have enough self-belief to go for it on their own. Pushing requires a delicate balance of knowing when to push and when to back off, however, most of us back off too soon. I’ve heard that if you send just one more marketing email, you’ll get an additional 15% response. Keep that in mind here, if you push and cheerlead someone just one more time, you may get a 15% increase in their success.
3. Protect. Probably the most important of the three elements, above all else, is to protect this person. On whatever level you are engaged with this person, you are required to protect them. This is easiest for parents and spouses, but think about it in business terms. To be a team player, you have to protect each other. To be a trusted boss, you have to protect your employees. To be a respected employee, you have to protect the business. Protection is to keep safe from harm. You have to bodyguard your dance partner and keep them from harm, whether it’s from outside influences or from themselves.

Whitney Houston died. I believe she died because she didn’t have a dance partner. I hope that you will dance with somebody – all the way to the best of their success.

I’m your Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista. How may I help you help yourself?

Stephanie Melish, one of the few, hand-selected, Gitomer-Certified Speakers is the ONLY Double-Tall, Non-Fat, No-Whip Sales Barista in the world! Stephanie trains, sells, and speaks to companies and associations all over the country. To book Stephanie for your next event, please visit www.GitomerCertified.com or contact the friendly folks at Buy Gitomer via email at hirestephanie@gitomer.com or by calling 704-333-1112.